Just say the word conflict and you will receive some uncomfortable looks. Especially at the workplace it is almost impossible to avoid it since you have to deal with different personalities and all range of issues.
Conflicts sometimes are petty problems that occur in day to day business but other times they reflect real disagreements about how an organisation should function and how professional relations should be formed.
And while it is almost impossible to stay away from disputes, conflict can actually be constructive and lead to personal and professional development. It can generate new ideas and shape working relations.
On the opposite if conflict is left “untreated” and people ignore it then it will most probably lead to toxicity and resentful relations of teams.
Conflict resolution normally involves some typical steps and processes along with specific techniques in order to reach the exit point where both parties will be benefited. Let’s explore these steps as long as with useful language we can use along the way.
• Setting a positive tone and Recognising that the problem exists
“We haven’t always seen eye to eye”
“There seem to be some issues of concern”
“We can definitely sort things our”
• Sharing and Talking about the impact of someone’s behaviour in other words talking about your feelings.
“I feel quite disturbed when you constantly interrupt me”
“I get really frustrated when you criticise me so much”
“I find it hard when assign me so many tasks at the same time”
• Identify the root of the problem. The underlying factors that have caused the dispute
“I’d like to ask what the real cause of the problem is”.
“We should figure out why this has been happening”.
“It’s important to make clear the actual reason for this.”
“ I am wondering if there’s something more going on here”.
• Exploring in detail the reason of the conflict and Recognising triggers to episodes of conflict.
“In your opinion, what caused the whole situation with Efi”?
“What did you think when Tom was assigned a bigger project”?
“Why do you think Lars spent so much time in helping me”?
“Tell me, what do you see as the reason that I delegate you a lot of tasks”
• Showing empathy and Finding common ground. In other words understanding of others’ feeling is a huge step towards conflict resolution. Being an active and engaged listener means that you care.
“I can see how you feel about the situation”.
“Let’s take a minute and try looking at it from different sides”.
“Okay, I understand the situation and why you feel upset”.
“I hear you and we need to sort it out”.
“I didn’t mean to get into your way/offend you”.
• Setting common goals and Proposing a solution
“As a goal, maybe we can look for a way for both of us to take on projects”.
“It seems that we need to figure out a better system of communication”.
“Let’s say what we want to happen”.
“Let’s focus on we can work together effectively”.
“ I think it would be best to delegate some tasks”. “Could we both agree to being better listeners”?
Conflicts are an essential part of daily business as they indicate the possible source of a problem to be eradicated. The route to resolving the conflict should be two way as both parties are equally involved. What to keep in mind is that all the actions taken are not faked but genuine. Active listening, empathy and eagerness to shed light on the argument and resolve it are a good way to start with. What do you think?